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I really don’t know how to say this any other way. My dog decided to talk to me the other night and he had a lot to say. It initially played like any other night really. Once again, I was tossing and turning, in and out of sleep. I was half awake, mulling over my job situation: I want to make money writing but I need an income more. Then the most bizarre thing happened. “Hey human Bob! This is your best friend speaking! Wake up!” Who the hell was that? It was a deep, low voice; strong and certain with a hint of a bourbon induced slur. Sounded like Dean Martin actually. I immediately sat up. It was pitch black. The radio clock blurred 3:53 in a dull crimson light. All I could make out was the shadowy outline of Parker, my trusty beagle, sitting upright at my feet. “Hey boy, did you hear that?” I whispered instinctively. “Someone’s in the house.” My vision was starting to warm up to the darkness. Parker just stared back at me, his head tilted, his long ears hanging to the side of his head like hand towels on a wall. He turned his head to the bedroom doorway, lifted his nose to the night and sniffed. He turned back to face me. “Don’t think so.” I swore Parker spoke but it couldn’t be. I mean his hound drawn lips seemed to move to the words I heard but that was impossible. “Who’s there?” I yelled into the night. “Whoever it is, I am warning you that I am at this moment retrieving my loaded double-barrel twelve gauge from under the bed. I will shoot you. So leave now and I want to hear the door slam behind you.” I made some dumb noises in a lame attempt to fool the intruder into believing what I had just proclaimed. I took the ruse to the next level. “Okay. I’m fully armed and about to call 911 from my fully powered cell phone. Oh yeah, strong signal, four bars. Oh yeah, this is going to be a very clear 911 call.” “You’re breaking me up. Put the phone down human Bob.” It was Parker talking. I was certain of it. Nah, it had to be a sick trick. “Okay, good one Steve. You wired up the dog with a little speaker. Very funny.” My brother Steve was known to go to great lengths to pull off pranks. But I was pretty sure he was at his apartment in the city, sixty miles away, God knows doing what, and at 48 years old, unlikely to suddenly bother me with a prank—it had been 25 years since his last one. But the mind scrambles to the most implausible scenarios when so duly challenged. “Don’t think so. Nope it’s me, Parker,” the dog mumbled. I was positive he spoke again. By now I was sitting straight up, leaning towards him. He just sat there and looked at me with those big dark eyes. His poker face was on. “Parker? Are you talking to me?” “Well I’m not talking to myself.” I leaned back against the headboard. He yawned. “This can’t be. I’ve got to stop watching Animal Planet.” “Listen, I’ve got something to say and I’m not sure how long this talking stuff is going to work so …” “You are talking!” I interrupted incredulously. “Should you want I bow wow?” “Holy cow! Parker you are talking.” “Yup. But I’m not sure for how long. So can I say a few things before …” “I can’t believe this.” “Yeah I know. Either can I but if you don’t mind.” I looked at him with a giant smile plastered across my face. Parker can talk. The dog was talking. Who was I kidding? It had to be a prank. He continued. “I’ve been listening to a lot of that talk radio and that C-SPAN channel you watch while you write. I’m here to tell ya I don’t like what I’m hearing.” “You’re kidding me right?” “Afraid not.” Oh this was good. I was really hallucinating. Talk-shmalk, I had a few nagging questions of my own. “Hey, can I ask you something before you get to your stuff?” “Make it quick. I haven’t got all night.” “You like smell things a hundred times more than we do, right?” “Four hundred.” “Okay, four hundred. Wow! Then I really wonder about this.” “Yeah I know. Why do we like to sniff every morsel of excrement or yellow patch of urine we encounter on our walks?” “Now that you bring it up, yeah, why? It must smell like the inside of Dick Cheney’s or Ted Kennedy’s septic tank? And you know how much crap they’re filled with.” “That was a funny one human Bob. But it isn’t like what you smell. We pick up a lot more notes. It’s a broader pallet if you will. We don’t smell stink. We smell identity, mood, and illness. For instance, you know that crazy cairn terrier down the street?” “Yeah.” “She has stomach cancer and her humans don’t have a clue.” “You are kidding me?” “She probably has less than six months if they don’t get her to a vet soon.” He paused to lick his right front paw. “Yeah, and another thing. Don’t take me out at nights for awhile.” “Why?” “Cause there is a rabid possum living under the porch. That’s why.” “You know this from the smell of possum poop?” “Excrement.” “Whatever.” “Yup.” Parker yawned as if bored. “So is that it? Can I say what I need to say?” “Well there is that thing you do with that licking your, you know, your …” “Penis?” “Well, yeah.” “Jealous are we?” “Well, it’s just that …” “It’s all about keeping clean. Nothing pleasurable if that’s what you’re driving at. Nothing like what you do with your hand. By the way, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pet me afterwards. Nope, no pleasure; it’s all business. You made sure of that when you had me “fixed”, remember. Thank you very much.” “Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea you knew any different.” “No idea my butt. I’ll ‘no idea’ ya.” He paused again to lick his right paw again and then continued. “But I don’t hold it against you. We don’t hold grudges. Heck, if we did, we would have mauled most humans dead by now. Which brings me to why I am talking to you.” “No grudges. Really? I mean that “fixing” stuff is pretty serious. That’s pretty good if that doesn’t bother you.” “You done? Can I get to my concern?” “Sure. Sorry. Go ahead.” “How can humans be so smart supposedly, while they single handedly are destroying the Earth?” “You mean global warming?” “It’s more than that. It’s the air. It’s the water. It’s the dirt. It’s the forests. It’s the killing. It’s the anger. It’s the hate. It’s the grudges. It’s the fear. It’s everything.” “Oh come on. You’re being a little dramatic.” “We don’t know dramatic.” “Well give me examples of what you mean.” “First of all, the air is filled with danger. Dogs, cats, birds, animals of all kinds can smell it. It is our biggest topic when we get together.” “I don’t smell a thing.” “Yeah, that’s part of the problem. And you can’t taste the troubled water either.” “Scientists don’t seem to be complaining. So I should be listening to a dog?” “We have no agenda. Dogs call it as they smell it.” “ ‘call it as they smell it’; I’m suppose to just accept that?” “Yeah, there is a lot you should just accept.” “Oh yeah, like what else?” “Well, and here is what I think is the crux of the problem, you keep choosing the wrong alpha humans.” “What?” “You’ve got this alpha thing all wrong. Just because animals order their packs based on physical size and strength doesn’t make it so for humans. We do it because we are simple. You do it because you are thoughtless. That’s what we, and I think it is fair to say I am speaking for all animals, don’t get. Humans are able to think things through. But they never do. Well, that’s not completely true; some have but they are mocked or marginalized. An alpha dog barks and gets all puffy, like that wacky shepherd Sarge from around the block. The worst he can do is break out of his electronic fence and charge one of us. But you humans take it up a notch.” “Can you give me a for instance?” “God there are so many. Let me see. Okay, you’ve elected a president who pounds his chest and walks around like a gorilla with its arms all out to the side, all tough and all, carrying on with ‘bring it on’. When he jumps the fence, he brings tanks and bombs and humans loaded down in weapons and in body armor. Meanwhile, you have alpha males all over the place, flexing their muscle in their packs, threatening to obtain nuclear weapons, the great equalizer, giving the president one excuse after another to hop the fence. It’s nuts. And I for one am telling you, you’ve got it all wrong.” “Well, I don’t know what to say.” “You don’t need to say anything. Just start picking the right alpha humans; humans whose visions see beyond fighting, whose hearts hold no grudges, whose thoughts and reasons are not the products of testosterone, whose collective knowledge is rooted in the concept that true peace is never the consequence of war but the outcome of constant learning, negotiating and adjusting.” “This is what you want to tell me? Nothin’ for nothin’ but it’s a little heavy for a little chat with a dog at 3:30 in the morning.” “In a nut shell, yeah.” It was hard to accept this from my beagle. I mean, he’s a dog; a sleeping, eating, sniffing, crapping dog. I was chalking this whole episode up to stress. I was apparently snapping. “That’s it. I’m pretty much done. Just one last thing while I have the chance.” “What? World hunger? String theory?” I asked sarcastically. “You get the right alpha humans and the world hunger thing will take care of itself, smart ass. As far as string theory, who do you think I am, Hawking? I’m just a dog. No it’s more pedestrian than that, something I think you can manage.” “Then what, already?” I asked impatiently. “You know that thing you do occasionally where you empty the dish washer in the buff.” “Ummm … yeah I guess.” “Put some clothes on. It’s disturbing. I’m beggin’ ya, please!” “All right, but only if you lick your privates in private.” “I’ll see what I can do. No promises.” “So this is it? No more talking? You know we could make a fortune on Letterman with his stupid pet tricks.” “It’ll never happen. You see, this is a one time deal. Not sure why or how this is happening. Maybe that God guy is involved somehow. All I know is that when it is done, it is …” He abruptly stopped talking. “Parker?” Not a grunt. He yawned and as he did he stretched his front legs out and spread across the foot of the bed, his ears resting flat on the blanket. “Parker … are you done? Is that it?” He slowly closed his eyes and floated off to sleep. “Parker … just like that?” He began to twitch; in hot pursuit of a fox I imagined. “Holy smokes. I must be dreaming myself.” I curled back down under the safety of my covers, scratched my butt and thought about the conversation I had just had with Parker or myself or both. I sniffed the air. It smelled fine to me. What the heck was he talking about, ‘danger in the air’? It had to be a dream. As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about getting a real job real soon, apparently this writing stuff was getting the best of me. I also made a point to remember to talk to the owners of that crazy cairn terrier. I thought it was the least I could do. One can’t be too dismissive of the unexplainable these days. buy penis enlargement pills top pnis enlargement pills vimax penis enlargement picture medical penis enlagement penis enhancement exercise penis enhancement exercise vimax penis pillss in uk penis enlargement pic
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If you’re over 40, you’ve got a ticking time bomb in your backside. It’s called benign prostatic hyperplasia…or BPH for short. This is the number one problem in older men. Your prostate is normally about the size and shape of a walnut and is located at the base of your penis. It surrounds your urethra – the tube your urine flows through – and that’s exactly why it’s likely to cause you problems. As you get older, your prostate grows and begins to squeeze the urethra and obstruct normal flow. Most men’s prostates begin enlarging after 40. If you make it to eighty, you have an 80% chance of having BPH. So, what are the symptoms of BPH? • Constant urge to urinate • Frequent nighttime urination • Dribbling or leaking after urination • Difficulty starting urination • A weak stream • Never feeling the bladder is empty Factors that increase your risk The major factors that increase your risk of developing BPH include: • Your medical history • Family history • Diet • Hormone levels Prevention strategies It’s never too early to start preventing BPH…You can save yourself a lot of problems later. And if you already have the symptoms – you can keep them from getting worse. Here are some simple and easy precautions you can take right now: 1. Get enough Omega-3 fatty acids: These are the essential fatty acids in fish, eggs, nuts and flax seed oil. You can get them by eating one of these foods every day…remember most fish that provide Omega-3 are contaminated with mercury…or by taking a supplement. Studies have shown Omega-3 seems to stop the conversion of the chemical that triggers prostate growth. The recommended dose is between 3 and 6 grams a day. 2. Eat healthy: Basically, cut down on the crap … sugars, hydrogenated oils…the things that tend to cause inflammation. Get plenty of protein and veggies. And, to be safe, add a good, natural food base, multivitamin. 3. Watch your DHT levels: Most doctors will tell you that testosterone is the cause of prostate enlargement and give you treatments to reduce it. Now that’s great! The very thing that makes you male and gives you your virility is being taken away from you. Dr. Al Sears wrote, “Testosterone is one of many related steroid hormones. Several are interconverted. Testosterone, for instance, can be converted into estrogens. But testosterone can also be converted into DHT. DHT is 9 times more powerful at stimulating growth of prostate tissue than testosterone is. Testosterone maintains normal health of your prostate but DHT stimulates an overgrowth. DHT sends signals to the prostate tissue, making it swell. As the tissue swells, it impinges on the surrounding urinary and reproductive systems. (DHT is also the chemical that causes men to develop male pattern baldness.) Your body converts testosterone to DHT with an enzyme called 5-alpha reductase. Exposure to stress and steroid related toxins in the environment appear to increase the activity of 5-alpha reductase. This deals a double blow to your manhood. It robs you of testosterone and it increases DHT. But, without the presence of 5-alpha reductase, testosterone will not convert into DHT. And this is the concept behind well-designed BPH treatments. If you can block the action of the 5-alpha reductase, you can prevent and treat prostate enlargement while increasing, not lowering your testosterone. Dr. Sears goes on to say, “You can stop 5-alpha reductase from making DHT with natural supplements. The best inhibitors of 5-alpha reductase come to us in the form of plant sterols. I’ve talked about some of these supplements before. Saw palmetto, pygeum, and pumpkinseed are the “big three”. 4. Get a regular exam: BPH and the worst case, prostate cancer aren’t something to fool around with. Especially if you’re over 40, you should see your doctor for a prostate check-up once a year. Include hormone blood tests, physical exam, and a comprehensive PSA test in your routine. vimax homemade penile enlargement penis elargement surgery photo vimax penis enlargement doctor prosolution penis enlargement pills enlargement manhattan penis surgeon penile enlargment device penis enlarement forum enlarement free penis pills sample
So what is meant by ‘stretching’? Is it painful? Can anyone do it? In this article we will take a look some of the questions surrounding this newer method of natural penis enlargement. The use of traction to stretch parts of the body has its roots in ancient cultures of India, Africa, and South America. In these places, penis stretching has been used in spiritual practices and other rituals. In the modern world, traction is being used to help re-grow tissue and heal scars for burn victims and for patients of penis enlargement surgery. The use of traction in penis enlargement surgery helps the patient heal or avoid scars, and it is especially useful for adding even more length and girth to the penis after the operation. Don’t worry though, because there’s no need to get under the knife before you see results from a modern penis traction device. The surgery is just what led up the private use of the penis stretcher by men wanting a larger penis – just now it can be done without the painful surgery. Just like the other uses of traction as I mentioned above, a penis stretcher uses a constant, but light pressure to stretch the penis over time. So what exactly is a penis traction device? The device is pretty simple looking and fits in the palm of your hand. It’s made of a comfortable base ring and silicone loop at the upper end. It is these parts that hold the penis in place while it’s being stretched. Connecting these end-pieced are two adjustable bars that run along either side of the penis. You adjust the length of the bars as your penis gets longer. The bars have springs inside that also adjust the amount of force being applied. The stretching force can easily be changed from a 600 to 1500 gram force. Most companies provide a plan to follow for getting the best results. How the penis can be stretched. Let me clear up the myth right now that the penis is not a muscle, but it is mostly made of tissue. This is what makes traction so successful at enlarging the penis. What really happens is the cells in the penis tissue expand and get bulkier, as well as the space around them. As this happens, the cells will also get longer and divide to fill up the space – this creates more tissue resulting in a larger, healthier penis. By applying a constant, but light force with the stretcher, the penis will get larger over time, in both length and girth. Your results depend on how much you are using the device. Studies done on the SizeGenetics device have shown that 4-6 hours each day gives very positive results. I can also confirm these results and have also found that a good time for use is in your relaxing evening hours, and also during sleep. Your results will be different than the next guy’s but be sure that these penis stretchers do in fact work. It is very possible to gain a full inch of length in under 6 months of daily use. Traction devices are also available as part of a larger package with pills and enlargement exercises. This can be a powerful combination resulting in even bigger and faster gains.