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Whoever sends junk emails has got me completely wrong. They seem to think I’m a seedy, hypochondriac bloke with a lot of problems down below. Not only am I cursed with a miniscule member, it’s about as reliable as the old A40 Mum used to drive. Apparently, my girlfriends are sniggering among themselves about my shrunken, faulty manhood. And my long suffering wife (I have one of those as well as the girlfriends) is concerned I may not be able to get her pregnant. Nevertheless, my alter ego’s appetite is insatiable. I’m in the market for a sexy Russian girl who can’t spell but has breasts the size of bowling balls. When not performing disappointingly in the bedroom, I’m swallowing dodgy prescription drugs with names that sound only partially familiar like Aspromix and Pethadinerole. My other obsession is cheap, immitation watches. While the real me usually deletes these messages without opening them, I’ve taken a look at one just now - in the interests of journalism. Apparently, if I buy one particular outlet’s Viagra, I’ll be able to open a beer bottle with my penis. That could be handy. Finding the bottle opener’s always tricky. It gets lost among the tangle of spatulas and serving spoons in the middle drawer. The advertisement says I may even be invited to become a porn star. Well, I guess it’d be more lively than cleaning up the cat litter box. Most of the time I delete junk mail messages on automatic pilot. Their lurid subject headings are easy enough to detect among precious emails from readers. Often the highlight of my week, readers’ emails mean a lot. I try to reply to them all (except unspeakably abusive ones). The other day as I was deleting Viagra advertisements, I had a horrible sinking feeling. Without meaning to I wiped an email titled Velcro. No doubt it was a reader’s response to a comment I made about Velcro being one of the best inventions of the 20th Century. They were probably telling me off, saying advances in medicine and science were far more important. They’re right, of course. Velcro isn’t that great. It didn’t even supplant zips the way people said it would. When I asked my husband why men still prefer zips on their trousers, he said Velcro would be too noisy in public toilets - and somewhat mood shattering in other circumstances. Nevertheless, some inventions have been undervalued for their simple elegance and versatility. Take dental floss, for instance. According to that Bible of the Internet, Google, it was invented by a New Orleans dentist who recommended passing a piece of silk between teeth in the early 1800’s. He shouldn’t take too much credit, though. It wasn’t long before Taranaki people were using their mothers’ sewing cotton to remove chunks of mutton wedged between their molars. Nylon dental floss was created during World War Two. Americans use enough of it every year to stretch from Earth to the Moon and back four times. I buy almost that much for our household. Dental floss is great for all sorts of things around here – hanging Christmas decorations and paintings, training grape vines, oh and occasionally for teeth. I’ve used it to string broken necklaces and earrings together. Floss is excellent for cutting through dough and cheesecake. It can successfully repair tents and backpacks or reattach umbrella sections back to their spines. I’m not the only one to explore its potential. In 1994 a prison inmate in Virginia used braided floss to scale a wall and escape. Another seriously undervalued item is the plastic clothes peg. I’ve yet to discover a better way to seal a half eaten bag of chips. Rubber bands are clumsy by comparison, and those plasticised bits of wire laughingly called “ties” never hold. Half the stuff in our kitchen cupboards and freezer is held together with clothes pegs – from cereal and frozen peas to rice and some strange brown powder that seems to be a maternity ward for moths. Pegs are essential for holding music on its stand when our daughter goes busking with her violin at Christmas. Some people use them to hold curtains together, squeeze the last out of the toothpaste tube or to hold the end of matches so their fingers don’t get burnt. I look forward to hearing from readers about their favourite undervalued inventions – and hope the person whose message was deleted forgives me. It’s so easy these days to mistake Velcro for Viagra. vig rx scam male penis enlagement prosolution pennis enlargement pills erection penis pills size vimax penis enlagement herb magna rx patch penis enlagement pump penis enlargement surgery does penis enlargment work
Chapter Seven Lilli Ann [Work and Play and Colleen] Many things were starting to happen after the tournament was over. It seemed my life had stopped for a moment in time. I had been working five to six days a week, mostly five. Met a guy, my age called Dan, at the karate studio one evening, he was just watching, and we got talking, and I helped him get a job at Lilli Ann. He was assigned to Mr. Green and would eventually be reassigned down stairs in the packing department. I was assigned in another department, which was one floor lower than his. He started falling in love with a Spanish gal, and wanted me to help him out by asking her why she was so down right rude to him. And so I did, it must have worked because they started dating, thereafter. Well Dan’s brother came into town, he was eighteen-years old, and again Dan and I were both twenty-one. The landlord would not allow two people in their apartment so I talked to my landlady and they ended up renting out the big room. I liked them both, but Dan was a little more level headed. His brother smoked pot night and day, Dan occasionally. About this time my mother said she was coming down to visit me after Christmas, which was not too far off. And so many things were happening. And as the weeks passed by I would often go downtown San Francisco after work and go to the double feature movies, they were older ones but very cheep, .75 cents during the day, before 6:00 PM, and afterwards walk around. I can remember a few times walking down a side street by a little café and Hell’s Angels were hanging out there. One time one of the Hell’s Angels, gave me a strange look but paid me little heed, and went back playing some kind of game. I had to walk around all the motorcycles for they hand them parked in the street, on the sidewalk, and every which way… and them seeing me trying to dodge the bikes to get around them, probably gave them a little groan, one that might have meant, ‘…don’t tip them over sunny.’ And I didn’t bump any. At work a few of the Spanish gals up in Mr. Green’s area were eyeballing me up, but I found out they were married and so I paid little attention to them afterwards. And a few Japanese girls, older women talked to me often, but I never got to dating any of them. Then one evening, after work, Colleen with her sparkling white Catholic seen me waiting for a ride by a street car stand, and asked where I was going, I said down by mission street, and offered to give me a ride. She was around thirty-three years old, whit a healthy looking body, and was hunting I presume—that is, looking for something. Colleen As she drove down Mission Street, she knew exactly where Lilli Ann was, I guess many people did, it was very famous for women’s exclusive clothing, they had dresses in Harpers Bazaar, some famous magazine, and advertised in London, Paris, New York, and here in San Francisco. I closed the window a bit in the car, the air was cool this morning, I told her, but I shouldn’t complain, it was nothing like Minnesota; for weather in December at 57 degrees is like heaven sent; I had heard them say on the radio, that it was going to get to 66 degrees before the end of the day. Not bad, in Minnesota we’d have about forty inches of snow by now, and most likely it would be about three to five below zero. January was the coldest month, in Minnesota usually, reaching many times ten degrees below zero or lower, and February had all the snow it seemed, sometimes twenty inches in one month; sometimes sixteen inches in one day. Some years we had ninety inches of snow. I was inclined to ask her for a date, even though she looked much older than I, but she said first, as I opened the door to get out, “Do you drink wine?” “Occasionally,” I said, for I used to drink some back home, but it was that cheep Ripple crap or Thunderbird, rotten gut stuff. But I didn’t want to tell her that. “The dry wine is even better than the sweet if you have the right bottle, and it’s aged some…” she added as I stood up next to the car, “I’ll pick you up after work, say 4:30 PM, does that sound good?” What could I say, the Cadillac girl was leading, and I had nothing better to do. I hadn’t gone to karate practice going on three weeks now. I think Yamaguchi was a little disappointed in me, surely not his black belt bunch though. “Ok,” I said as I started to turn around and walk inside of the three story building. Things were always happening so fast these days I hardly ever questioned anything. Dan had me meet a friend a week ago, some guy who was selling dope, pot or whatever, we talked and he offered me a job at twice the amount I was making, but I turned him down, I didn’t want to be his or any bodies body guard, end up dead with some heroin stuck in my ass, or down my throat. This was safer, work here at $.1.75 per hour, and just enjoy life; live longer. It was funny, when I stopped to talk to a young man, my age who wanted a quarter, and back in those far off days, they were all over San Francisco, --at any rate, I told him to go get a job, and he asked how much I made in a week, I said $70-dollars, and he laughed, saying: “I make more than that in a day, $75.” Oh well, I guess I still have values. I just couldn’t sit down on the street corner and beg; it wasn’t even a thought. Or should I say, it never occurred to me. ٭ The day went fast, Dan was flirting with his new Spanish girlfriend, who worked in the office at Lilli Ann; I think she was happy I set them up, but I was a little jealous now, I guess I would have like to date her, but I was always drinking, going to movies, and before karate, running around town. No real time I suppose. I think she was wondering why I didn’t smile as much as I did before when I met her halfway going up and down the stairs a few times a day. But I tried. My mother wrote and said he’d be in town now in January. Not too far off. It was 4:35 PM, I just slammed the heavy door behind me to Lilli Ann, and there on the street was that white Catholic, and Dan was not too far behind me, he’s seeing me go to the car, I told myself, not looking in back of me, I’ll hear about it tomorrow. “See yaw later Chick,” Dan said, I think it was to get Colleen’s attention; I turned around and smiled a bit and shook my head. “I did show up, didn’t I, I bet you thought I wouldn’t?” Said Colleen. “Not sure what I thought,” I admitted, and I seem to put on a dumb look. “I always like wine in the fall, --woops, soon to be winter in a week or two.” “Always --” I said-, opening up her car door, and getting in. “Always my new friend, now let’s go to the Bay and look at the Golden Gate.” I nodded my head yes, for I even liked walking along the bank and dock area, by the railroad tracks also. As we got to a certain spot, evening was starting to set in, the once white clouds were turning light-gray, and I opened up the window a little. I loved to grab the moment, absorb what was happening. San Francisco was so very much different than my conservative St. Paul, and it seemed like I was starting to own it a little. There in front of me was the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge, I would never forget it. I had walked across it, seen it a dozen times, and I just never got tired of it; but one thing, I only walked across it once, it is far…longer than one imagines. It was a settling evening. The cars with their horns, the people at work, I was starting to calm down. The night was creeping in. On one hand I was hoping it would never end, and on the other hand, it was a fast pace city for me, it could slow down a bit. “Are you thirsty Chick,” said Colleen. “Oh yes, very much…” I took the bottle from her and drank right out of the top. She pulled out two glasses, then hesitated, and put them back in her back seat saying, “We really don’t need them I see.” I guess I might have seemed a little uncouth, but it was me. For awhile we talked about the earth quake everyone was talking about; how the evangelist’s were saying San Francisco was going to be sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Many people were taking long vacations to get out of town. It was supposed to be on a certain week end coming up (or within the month of January). They talked about it at the bar, at Lilli Ann, every where. She smile, said, “Of course,” as she took a drink. I think she was thinking about her youth; --for whom at twenty-one runs around looking for a glass when you got a bottle. We sat just drinking, and looking at the Bay and the bridge, silent for awhile, some people don’t like too long of a period of silence, but it can be golden, --she lit a cigarette, and so did I, and we took turns drinking. She told a few dirty jokes, and I pretended to think they were funny, and when she laughed I laughed, not because they were funny, but because she was. She commented, “You’ll have to let me know when they have the fabric sales down at Lilli Ann, I want to buy as much as I can.” I didn’t quite understand what she was talking about then, but I did find out later on that they had sales about every four months, and employees could buy fabrics not usable. I would however purchase some for her, during our short time romance. “Let’s go eat,” she commented. “Where…” I said. “I’ll pick up something at a store or restaurant.” “That’s perfect,” I replied, as I put the cork back into the bottle, there was not much left to the wine. Colleen stopped in front of a fancy restaurant, --went inside and ordered some burgers made up for us. “Dolores Street right,” she asked, and I gave her the address, “They’ll taste better relaxing at your apartment.” She said. I explained she was welcome but I only had a small room, and my friend, whom was Dan, she remembered the person who had said, “By Chick”, lived in the other room next to me, --I explained we shared bathrooms. “So she rents out rooms,” she commented. “Yaw, why, you need one?” “Not quite yet, but could be soon, or in a month or so,” she ended her replied with. As she stopped in front of the mansion I lived in, my hunger had changed from food to lust, or so it seemed, the burgers did not seem at all appealing; none the less, we went directly to my room. As we entered the room she looked about, “Quite cute, and yes, you were not kidding, it is small, but cozy, enough for a single man. I had a little dresser by the side of the bed where I kept an ashtray, and a light, along with a little radio. A closet in along side of the bed, a little to the right of the doorway you might say, a window behind me overlooking my bed, and the door to the bathroom on the right also, of the bed; --if I was laying on my back I’d be looking at the doorway in front of me She put the burgers on the small table, took a last drink of the wine, gave it to me, there was one swallow left, I drank it, as she undressed, then she jumped under the covers. She had big breasts and a semi tight body for her age. She was not thin, nor fat, quite healthy looking. I got a hard-on immediately, and like a dog in heat, we pulled our lust together and she grabbed my item and directed it to her warmth. We made love for about 45-minutes, and I fell to my side a bit, rested, and pulled her over to me again, and stuck my penis back into her private area. She was very warm inside, and my body shook as I climaxed. “We should get some sleep Chick,” she said with a chuckle. It seemed she found what she wanted, but I felt a little out classed for some reason. She had a degree I had found out while sitting by the Bay over looking the Golden Gate and she worked as a legal assistant. I couldn’t sleep, so I looked at some of the roof tops of the houses out my window; San Francisco was very complicated for me, all its old and new mixed into a whole, and Colleen laying next to me. But I told myself to go to sleep, tomorrow was another day. As I rolled my body back under the covers, I could not hear anymore car horns, the radio was quiet, Dan and his brother must have fallen asleep, and his girlfriend gone home. The wind was making a bit of noise on the window sill, but that was tranquilizing, if anything. Chapter Eight The Christmas Party Well, Dan was dating the Spanish lady, and Colleen was coming over picking me up on regular bases now. She even got to know the Colonel a little, and Dan and his brother Jack. I think she was eyeing up the little bedroom by Dan’s big room. In-between our dating that is. During this period in San Francisco I was working, and I wasn’t seeing Goesi much, going to the movies as I usually did, and we had a Christmas party coming up in a few days. Mom had written and I expected her to be flying into San Francisco, in two weeks. From here she’d stay a week then fly down to see my brother in Montclair, Southern California. The weather got a little colder also, but why argue it was still in the 50’s during the day, and low 40’s at night. Some rain but not much. I now was running the dogs for the Colonel; I had a hell of a time taking the “Beast,” out. I called him that because he was up to my waste when on all fours, and had teeth almost like a saber tiger; he looked more like a wolf than a dog. He ran like a horse, and I had a choke chain on him; --thank god I could run with him, I think he liked that. And people jumped every which way when they seen us coming: --and a few times he got away from me whereas the panicked started all around me, people jumping far away from the on coming beast, I didn’t blame them. The Confrontation I knew when I left San Francisco, I’d miss the dogs. Matter-of-fact, one night a neighbor came over and was hollering at the Colonel, and threatened her about the dogs, I was in the hallway upstairs listening, had a few beers in me, I came down slowly, and she told the guy to go because I was the one running the dogs, which the guy noticed, and that with my karate, and temper it might not work out too good if he sticks around;” adding, she said, “I think he heard you hollering at me.” “So what, let him come…” and then out of the blue I was five feet from him on the outside stairway, he was two steps down, and the Colonel was against the beam of the door way. “You better take care of them dogs and shut them up before…” “Before I kick you ass, that that…” I leaped toward the man with my hands in the air as to block the man if he thrust the knife at me, and landed on the second to last step, about two feet in front of him, and in a circular motion, threw several blocks to off set his focus, he jumped back, pulled out a two inch knife, he was terrified. “You better not come closer,” he said. I started laughing. “And you mister, better shut your mouth, go home and never, I mean never come around here again, and if I find out you’ve cause any trouble for my landlady, I’ll find you and stick that knife up your ass…….get out of her NOW!!” He moved as fast as he could. Yes, I had my wild moments, as most people have. Said the Colonel, “I hope he doesn’t cause trouble for me, but I sure liked the way you handled him,” and she had a smile half a mile wide. penile enlargement video penis enhancement device penis enlagement supplement pennis enlargement excersizes vigrx ingredient vigrx store penis enlagement surgery photo penis enlarement excercises does penis enlargment work
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